Future You—Tapping 3 Emotions

In the last post of 2017 (“Think Big”), we primed the pump for the new year. Now, we need some practical insight into how to make those dreams reality, because we all know what typically becomes of resolutions—broken like your smartphone screen.

The main ingredient traditionally relied on for achieving our goals is willpower. The idea that with a little self-control, we can deny ourselves that impulse cookie, beer, cigarette, etc. In other words, deny your short term desire for your long term goal. Your future you.

But research has shown us over the last number of years that willpower is just too hard all on its own. In fact, think of the use of willpower as though it were a muscle. When you use your muscles without allowing them any rest, you fatigue them until they can’t perform the task you are working on.

Likewise, once you’ve fatigued your willpower muscle, you tend to weaken your impulse control, you give in. Instead of having a nibble of the cookie, you eat the whole batch. Yum, yum, yum. Cue up the disappointment mobile because that bottle of wine is next.

So how are you going to crack that nut? Northwestern University psychology professor David DeSteno has an idea. He suggests that instead of relying on pure grit to achieve your goals, you should tap into three emotions: compassion, gratitude, and pride.

DeSteno’s research found that having an emotional connection to something, or someone outside of yourself, increases the chances that you will be able to exercise self-control. And this really makes sense.

Exercising pure willpower is exhausting. But if you have a friend in need, you have no problem setting aside your short term desires to make sure that their needs are met.

Pure grit might get the job done for a moment, but it just doesn’t have enough staying power. So try adding on a bit of compassion.

Gratitude and genuine pride—not arrogance—work in much the same way as compassion in increasing your ability to persevere in the face of difficulty.

All three traits are already highly valued in society and are ingredients for making home and work life that much more meaningful. Who knew that tapping into them could also help you achieve those resolutions and become future you?