Monday, July 20, 2026

The Power of Asking for Help

How asking for help builds friendships, trust, and gets things done

By André van Heerden, Communications Director

As a department director, I always encourage my staff to ask questions. It shows interest, it shows a willingness to learn, and it usually helps others who also may not know the answer.

When I’m coaching soccer, I love it when my players ask questions. These are the sorts of players whom I know I can teach and improve.

But something that I hadn’t considered was the power of asking for help.

I was recently reading Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic novel, Kidnapped. From memory if someone asked me what the story was about, I would have said: adventure and surviving against the odds. What surprised me in rereading it though is that it’s really a story about standing for what’s right and friendship through adversity. One of the most memorable parts of the book doesn’t involve swordplay, but simply asking for help.

David Balfour and Alan Breck Stewart are on the run from the law and warring Scottish clans. David is furious with Alan but sulkily decides to take the martyr route and suffers in silence. Alan tries to make things up between them, but then gets angry as well. Both don’t communicate and David is very ill. Eventually, when he can’t walk anymore, he asks for help—and that changes everything.

“I would have given the world to take back what I had said; but a word once spoken who can recapture it? I minded me of all Alan’s kindness and courage in the past, how he had helped and cheered and borne with me in our evil days; and then recalled my own insults, and saw that I had lost forever that doughty friend. At the same time, the sickness that hung upon me seemed to redouble, and the pang in my side was like a sword for sharpness. I thought I must have swooned where I stood.

This it was that gave me a thought. No apology could blot out what I had said; it was needless to think of one, none could cover the offence; but where an apology was vain, a mere cry for help might bring Alan back to my side. I put my pride away from me. ‘Alan!’ I said; ‘if ye cannae help me, I must just die here.’”

David’s act of asking for help melts all of Alan’s anger and pride. He begs for forgiveness and begins carrying David—despite the fact that he’s considerably smaller than him, and also tired and hungry.

”‘Alan,’ cried I, ‘what makes he so good to me? What makes ye care for such a thankless fellow?’

‘Deed, and I don’t know’ said Alan. ‘For just precisely what I thought I liked about ye, was that ye never quarrelled: - and now I like ye better!’”

What’s remarkable about this sequence is that their bond is strengthened through serious conflict and disagreement, with the key turning point being the cry for help.

Inspirational author and speaker, Skip Pritchard notes, “When we ask for help, we acknowledge our own limitations. The combination of a willing receiver and a cheerful giver is a powerful combination.”

And actress Lily Colins says, “Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. And it can save your life.”

Asking for help, whether at work, or at home, or really anywhere in life, allows people to connect with you. It shares a need that others can step in and fill. It encourages open communication. It’s often the first step needed in enabling true teamwork.

In the climactic scene of the movie, The Incredibles, Mr. Incredible breaks down and confesses his deepest emotional vulnerability: "I'm not strong enough.” Elastigirl immediately reassures him with the iconic line, "If we work together, you won't have to be.”

Bob’s admission that he needs help not only wins over Helen (and she gives him a big kiss for it) but surprises and impresses his kids who are listening in, and ultimately helps them band together to defeat Syndrome.

While in our daily lives we might not be fighting super villains or running from the law, we should still remember the power of asking for help.

It’s a great way to build friendships, build trust, and get things done.

The Power of Asking for Help

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