Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Working through Grief

It’s a situation virtually all workers face at some point—the death of a loved one.

From the March 2016 Guide

While the length of bereavement leaves vary from workplace to workplace, they all have one thing in common. They’re too short.

Having to deal with funeral arrangements, family affairs, and simply time to grieve often leaves employees needing to take some of their vacation time—if they have it. Understandably, employers can only do so much. After all, they have a business to run.

Many grieving employees return to work when clearly they are not ready. As a result, they are not fully engaged. Coworkers, managers, and employers often do not know how to react to a grieving employee. Some are afraid they’ll make it worse. But there are some things that they can do to ease the burden.

Understand grief − Everyone experiences grief in their own way. There is no set period of time for how long a person will grieve, how long they will feel sad, how long before he or she is fully reoriented to work and fully productive again. To understand grief, educate yourself about it.

Listen − Those grieving may have a high need to talk about what they’re going through. Others prefer silence. Listen to what the person is telling you and react accordingly. And don’t be afraid to express how you feel. You may have gone through a similar loss, and sharing together can be a benefit to both of you.

Avoid clichés, judgments, and magic words − No words will take away the pain of grief. You don’t know how the person feels because every loss has its own circumstances. Talking about silver linings, counting the things you have, or minimizing the loss in any other way does not help. But a simple “I’m sorry,” along with genuine care and compassion, can go a long way.

Provide accommodation − Ask the employee before he or she returns what you can do to help ease the person back into work. Check back regularly to see where the person is at and how he or she can be helped, such as with flexible hours. Are parts of the job just too difficult at the moment? Some grieving employees find it difficult to concentrate. Find other ways for them to stay connected, because often work is the only thing that feels normal to them.

Support the supporters − In many workplaces, the greatest support a grieving employee will receive is from his or her coworkers. Employers can help by making sure these supporters get the support they need. Leaders should talk to those who are closest to the person. Do they need help because they are picking up extra tasks for the person? Encouragement and concern for those within the team supporting the grieving employee will help everyone.

Show empathy − An interested and caring attitude is important not just for the immediate grieving. Look at grieving as long term. There’s a reason the holidays are hard for those who have lost someone dear. It brings back the memories and pain of their loss. Be sensitive to how a grieving person may react to events and activities at certain times of the year. Approach those who have lost a loved one gently at difficult times of the year to see how they are feeling, what they would like, and how you can help.

What is grief?

A natural physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological reaction to loss.

Reactions include

Anger
Sadness
Fear
Guilt
Love/hate
Frustration

Experience of grief is influenced by

A person's cultural or religious background
Strength of belief
Mental and physical health
The circumstances of death

Grieving employees may experience

Higher rates of absenteeism and presenteeism
Loss in productivity
Difficulty concentrating on tasks
Greater risk of health and safety incidents
Loss of interest
Frustration and irritability
Moodiness, depression, or other mental health problems
Family/marriage stress
Loneliness

Sources: Canadian HR Reporter, compassionatefriends.org

Working through Grief

What is grief?

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