Sunday, August 7, 2022

The Power of Feelings (Lessons from Pleasantville, Part 4 of 4)

Feelings are a fact of life. So how can we best deal with them?

By Quentin Steen, Representative

One thing I know (and I speak from personal experience) is that it’s never good to run away from our feelings or try to stuff them—no matter what the issue is. Stuffing your feelings only amplifies the struggle within, and they’ll eventually ooze out into your exterior world.

This is the power of our feelings. They always mean something. They often touch on the one simple reality: there is no progress in our lives—internally or externally—without pain. It’s a matter of perspective. This is one of the hallmarks that make life beautiful: the presence of pain and joy, sometimes simultaneously. Holding the two in tandem can be difficult.

Some of us are unaware of this reality, and when we awaken to it, it’s something we feel we need to fix, so we stuff it down. For others, we feel guilty about how we feel. Too often, we ascribe a sense of morality to our feelings, categorizing them as either good or bad. And so, we work hard at trying to eradicate the negative feelings and shaming ourselves for even having these feelings

But what if we could conceptualize our feelings against a backdrop where we allow our feelings to be what they are, without assigning judgment to them? Learning to accept them as they exist without trying to justify or sanitize their rawness. Instead, with curiosity, we choose to explore them, working with what they are trying to tell us, to show us the work we need to do for ourselves, within ourselves, for the sake of ourselves and those around us—especially those in our tribe, our community that brings us life.

Now, I don’t know how this may land in your life right now, but I think it’s fair to say that this probably sounds like a tall order for some of us. If that’s you, you may consider—maybe for the first time—exploring your feelings with the assistance and perspective of a professional.

At the end of the day, if you need more encouragement, I’ll leave you with one final question. How’s it working for you to remain unengaged, fearful of entering the waters of emotion? Are you adamant that there’s nothing you can do to change them? Not sure? It’s a humbling and enlightening experience to ask those who know you best how they think you’re doing. After that, you may discover that it’s not the emotions that need to change, but you.

The sobering reality is that for all of us, there remains one constant: the only thing we can really control is what we choose to believe, and what we choose to do with what we believe.

Quentin Steen is a certified mental health first aid instructor for the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

Get your BRAIN right and your MIND will follow!

4 Mental Health Resources to Help You

If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health issue, CLAC has a number of resources and interactive tools available to help you at My Health and Wellness.
Stronger Minds features videos and quick reads from mental health experts, activities to help you gain resilience, and ask-an-expert videos in response to questions.
WellCan offers free well-being resources to help Canadians develop coping strategies and build resilience to help deal with uncertainty, mental health, and substance abuse concerns.
Wellness Together Canada: Mental Health and Substance Use Support provides free online resources, tools, apps, and connections to trained volunteers and qualified mental health professionals.

The Power of Feelings (Lessons from Pleasantville, Part 4 of 4)

4 Mental Health Resources to Help You

You might be interested in