The Green-Eyed Monster Stealing Your Happiness
“Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all.” —Joseph Epstein
Envy—it is ever-lurking in our lives, seeking to steal our joy, contentment, and happiness. But what is it, what feeds it, and how can you combat it?
Simply put, envy is “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by another’s better fortune” (Oxford Canadian English Dictionary). When we allow envy to grow, whether at work or in our personal life, we experience negative mental, emotional, and even physical effects.
5 Negative Effects of Envy
- Envy lights up the area of your brain associated with physical and mental pain. People with higher levels of envy experience worse mental health and overall well-being in the long term.
- Envy distorts your view of the world, making you hyperfocused on what others have (and you don’t), rather than remembering that no one’s life is perfect, and you may have blessings that others don’t.
- Envy breeds resentment toward others, which may lead to damaging or even severing relationships.
- Envy leaves you dissatisfied with your own life and unable to appreciate the joys of life, greatly lowering your happiness levels.
- When you waste your time and energy envying others, you aren’t spending it improving your own life, particularly if you are wallowing in disappointment and shame. You may also be focusing too much energy on chasing things (like money, beauty, or social media likes) that don’t improve your life, rather than things that do (like strong relationships, spiritual life, etc.).
5 Ways to Starve Envy
- Acknowledge what you’re feeling. It’s uncomfortable to admit we’re envious, but you can’t combat something if you won’t admit it exists.
- Practice compassion—both for yourself and others. Rather than trying to boost self-esteem by putting others down or bragging about what’s going well in your life, be willing to see that everyone is imperfect, and no one has it all together—even those you are envying.
- Take a break from social media and the advertising world, or trim who and what you follow. If your feed is filled with influencers or brands trying to sell you on a lifestyle, unfollow or hide the ones that leave you dissatisfied with your life. The same goes for friends and family members. You don’t need to cut everyone and everything, but be mindful of how certain feeds impact your physical and emotional state. Also, spend less time around ads. It’s tough, because ads are all around us and are designed to make us feel dissatisfied. But if you can limit your ad exposure, or make a habit of reminding yourself that ads are not reality, you’ll feel better.
- Use your envy to identify and motivate you to improve aspects of your work and life. Are you envious of someone’s perfect body? Work to change your attitude (see above), but also take the opportunity to improve your physical health. Jealous of your coworker’s promotion? See what you can do to improve your skills to make yourself more valuable in your workplace and more likely to earn a promotion too.
- Practice gratitude. Again, this isn’t to inflate your ego by focusing on how you are better than others. Look with gratitude on the things that are important—no mater how small. When you practice gratitude, you starve the green-eyed envy monster.
Sources: Greater Good Magazine, The Atlantic, The Epoch Times