Wednesday, May 7, 2025

The Fog of Our Assumptions

Recognizing the role of assumptions and seeking clarity through open dialogue can foster better relationships and a more cohesive team environment

Guide magazine

By Quentin Steen, Representative/BC Member Education Coordinator

I remember it vividly—a decision I thought would change everything for the better. But hindsight revealed it as a tangled knot of assumptions and unspoken truths.

It began with a conversation, or rather, the lack of one. I noticed a friend’s sudden distance, a hesitance in their usual warmth. My mind, ever eager to fill gaps, crafted a story: they must be upset with me.

Maybe I said something wrong. I reviewed every recent interaction, dissecting it like an amateur detective. My narrative grew legs—they’re probably pulling away. Maybe it’s time to do the same.

Instead of asking, I withdrew, subtly at first, then more overtly. I convinced myself it was preemptive self-preservation.

Weeks passed, and the silence became mutual. Then came the unexpected message: “Hey, are you okay? I’ve noticed you’ve been distant, and I didn’t want to assume.”

The irony stung. I replied hesitantly, confessing the story I had constructed in my head. Their response was simple but profound: “I’ve been dealing with something personal. I was worried you were upset with me.”

I learned two lessons that day. First, clarity is a gift we owe ourselves and others. Second, the stories we create in our heads can steer us down paths that aren’t real.

Workplace dynamics can easily lead to misunderstandings or conflicts between workers, coworkers, and supervisors.

Here’s an example. Imagine a situation at work where a manager assigns a high-priority project to one of your coworkers instead of you. You might assume it’s because they don’t trust your abilities or don’t value your contributions.

However, the reality might be entirely different. They may have chosen your coworker because of their specific expertise or because they are trying to balance workloads across the team.

Similarly, a manager might assume that an employee who doesn’t speak up in meetings is disengaged or uninterested. In reality, they might be nervous about public speaking or waiting for the right moment to contribute.

Workplace assumptions like these can lead to unnecessary tensions or miscommunication. Like sunlight that clears the fog, recognizing the role of assumptions and seeking clarity through open dialogue can foster better relationships and a more cohesive team environment.

You’ll never regret asking questions to get more clarity.

But you’ll always regret making decisions based on a story you created in your head, whether at work or in your personal life.

The Fog of Our Assumptions

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