Monday, January 26, 2026

The Burden of Grief

After losing two people she held dear, Geraldine Hila realized she couldn’t go it alone and turned to her union representative for help

Guide Magazine Local 304

By Lisa Helder

GERALDINE (GIGIE) HILA STILL GETS emotional when recalling her struggles navigating intense personal grief, while faced with a less-than-understanding manager.

“They accused me of acting when I broke down at work,” says Gigie. “But my mom had just died—how could they say I was acting? Mentally, it scarred me.”

Gigie is a Local 304 member and a cook at a retirement home in southern Ontario where she’s served for four years. In September 2023, she suffered the loss of her mother—her only family here in Canada other than her own children.

“My family is all back in the Philippines,” she says. “So, it was very impactful when my mom died.”

On top of that, she had also just lost her best friend and hadn’t been able to travel to Montreal for the funeral.

While her mother had been struggling with poor health for some time, her death came sooner than expected. Gigie had been acting as her caregiver, and her death left a huge hole in Gigie’s life.

“Three days off for bereavement leave [the amount Gigie was entitled to] is not enough—especially when you aren’t expecting someone to die,” she says.

When she returned to work, she found she couldn’t manage.

“I broke down at work because every time I saw the residents, they reminded me of my mom.”

Consumed by her grief, Gigie was frequently absent, became emotional during her shifts, or had to leave early. Her behaviour led to disciplinary action, and rather than trying to work with Gigie, her manager seemed to be trying to push her out the door.

They brought up the fact that she’d had several absences prior to her mother’s death—all explained by doctor’s notes, other than one that occurred when Gigie had to bring her mother to the emergency room. Gigie felt harassed and didn’t have the mental energy to deal with everything that was going on.

“I wanted to quit, but people were telling me, don’t quit because you’re not in your normal state of mind—you might regret it,” she says.

SO, GIGIE TOOK A LEAVE of absence to grieve and return to the Philippines to bury her mother.

After some time, she decided to try to return to work. That’s where she hit another roadblock. Her doctor wanted her to transition back to work slowly—starting out at part-time and working back up to full-time. But the manager said no—they didn’t want her coming back with any restrictions.

As Gigie struggled with the back and forth between the manager, herself, and the doctor—and all the associated paperwork—she finally reached out to her union representative, Patricia Pot.

Patricia was able to help Gigie navigate the paperwork and act as an intermediary between management and Gigie.

“There’s a lot of paperwork,” says Patricia. “And the company that owned the home at the time—it’s changed hands since then—would ask for some problematic things at times. I’d have to go back and tell them, no, you can’t ask for that information.

“Gigie was also trying to balance needing income with needing to take care of herself. During this time, we engaged in a lot of advocacy back and forth.

“On the one hand, we had a manager who wasn’t handling the situation as well as they should have. And on the other hand, we had a member who was struggling to understand and navigate the process.”

GIGIE HAD SEVERAL FALSE STARTS as she tried to return to work. She would go in but found she wasn’t able to cope with the stress. So, she’d go back on leave. And of course that meant more paperwork.

“Patricia helped a lot with all the paperwork involved,” says Gigie. “It can get confusing, especially when you don’t know exactly what your employer is asking for.

“At the same time, Patricia told me, ‘You have to look after yourself, Geraldine.’ And that helped my mental health. And I really appreciated it because some people don’t know what to say to you. But the union was there for me.”

During this time, Gigie engaged in intense therapy to work through her grief—speaking with a counsellor two-to-three times per week at first, before gradually cutting back. She also joined a group at a local church for individuals experiencing grief.

“Therapy is expensive, but my family really encouraged me to keep going, because I really needed it,” says Gigie.

Finally, she was ready to go back for good.

“When I went back, I was happy,” she says. “I could focus on what I was doing, and I still do the exercises my therapist told me to do, and it works. The grief is still there, but it has subsided.”

Gigie’s coworkers were glad to see her back. Knowing her recent experiences dealing with management and the union, some would come and ask for her advice navigating various work situations.

“I would say, I cannot help you—you have to go to the union—that was my advice to everybody,” she says.

PRIOR TO THE DEATH OF her mother, Gigie didn’t put a lot of stock in unions. But after her experience, she’s become one of CLAC’s biggest cheerleaders.

“With the union at my side, I felt safe,” she says.

Not long after her return, the home needed a new union steward. Gigie’s coworkers nominated and elected her.

“I accepted the role because of my experience,” says Gigie. “Some people are afraid to talk to the manager or to the union, and I want to help them.”

Having walked through a season of deep personal loss and workplace challenges, Gigie has emerged with a renewed sense of strength and purpose. What began as a struggle to simply keep going has led to a new role supporting her coworkers as their union steward.

For Gigie, her journey is proof that no one should have to face grief or hardship at work alone. With the right supports, healing is possible, and challenges can be turned into opportunities to help others.

What to Do When You Are Struggling

Are you struggling with your mental health in the workplace—whether it’s due to grief, an underlying medical issue, or even just being overwhelmed? CLAC is here to help.

“We want people to know that there are supports and that we are here to help them navigate their situation, give them options on what course of action they can take, and help advocate for them with their employers,” says Patricia Pot, a CLAC representative who works out of the union’s Mississauga Member Centre. “And if they can do that before things really fall apart, then that helps with the navigation. Unfortunately, most people don’t reach out until things start to spiral.”

6 Things to Do If Your Personal Life or Health Is Impacting Your Work

Contact the union right away. Don’t wait until things get worse (e.g., disciplinary action, damaged relationships, etc.). Reach out to your union representative or steward.
Document, document, document. Get everything in writing, and keep copies of anything you need to give your employer, such as forms and letters from your healthcare providers.
Keep your representative in the loop. Include them on emails, and let them know what is happening.
Your representative is there to help. If you're struggling with paperwork, or with communicating with your manager, talk to your representative. They can help you understand what’s needed and can act as a mediator.
Take time off. It can be difficult to balance your finances and your personal health, but for many, taking time off work is necessary to help get back on track. Your representative can help you navigate this process.
Get external help. Counselling—either in a private or group setting—can be so beneficial for helping you get back on your feet. If you are part of a CLAC benefits plan, you may have coverage for counselling. You also have access to the TELUS Health Employee and Family Assistance Program.

Filipino Canadians Make Their Mark

Did you know that according to the 2021 census, the Philippines is the third largest source country for immigration to Canada? Three-quarters of a million Filipinos came to Canada in the 10 years prior to the census. Of those, most reside in Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia.

Filipinos are ranked as some of the hardest working people in Canada, with 78.6 percent of those ages 15 and older working or actively seeking employment—well above the national average of 65.4 percent. The top sectors they work in are sales and service, healthcare, business, finance and administration, and the trades.

Filipinos also feel a strong affinity to Canada, with 92 percent reporting a strong or very strong feeling of belonging here, compared to 84 percent of Canadians overall.

Source: statscan.ca

Geraldine (Gigie) Hila

Patricia Pot

The Burden of Grief

What to Do When You Are Struggling

6 Things to Do If Your Personal Life or Health Is Impacting Your Work

Filipino Canadians Make Their Mark

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