Monday, January 29, 2024

That Was a Close One

When working through problems with others, maintaining “unconditional positive regard” for them will go a long way in sustaining the relationship

By Ken Dam, Representative

I had been working behind the scenes for months with an employer, meeting with newly installed labour relations and payroll staff to try and figure out what retroactive payments staff were entitled to because of a new collective agreement that had been awarded through arbitration.

I knew the hard work and many hours that were being put in to try and figure out and calculate proper payments. It was time-consuming work. And the management team was working to a deadline.

The arbitrator specified that all calculations and payouts must be done by a certain date. Despite the employer’s best efforts, the deadline came and went.

I started receiving messages from my union members. “Where’s my retro money.” “The employer is late again.” “How can they get away with this.” “Can’t the union do anything.”

Well, yes. The union could in fact reach out to the arbitrator and request that the employer award further compensation and/or penalize the employer for the delay. And that is exactly what I did.

The next day, I awoke to an email from the employer. Understandably, they were apoplectic with my decision to contact the arbitrator.

In their mind, I knew exactly how hard they had been working. I knew the challenges they were facing. They viewed my act of contacting the arbitrator as a betrayal of their trust.

For them, it was as if I had thrown away all the social capital we had built up over the last few months of collaborative work. And there was actually quite a lot at stake. We had a whole myriad of ongoing issues to work through together—the retro pay was just the tip of the iceberg.

Putting our working relationship on ice would ultimately harm my union members even further. How could we work this out?

As far as I could tell, there were two major issues at play. First, the management team made assumptions about my intent. They presumed the action I had taken was intended to insult their efforts and paint a picture of inaction and incompetence to the arbitrator. That was not, in fact, my intent.

Second, I had not forewarned the employer of my actions. I had done nothing in advance to prepare them or provide further context.

There was a long backstory of frustration with the management team that had been in place at the time of the arbitration award—a different group than the team I was dealing with now. My actions were intended as an attempt to hold the employer accountable for their prior management team’s performance. Which I had an obligation to do.

But so much misunderstanding could have been avoided if I had taken the time to explain my actions in advance. It wouldn’t have taken much brain power for me to anticipate what their reaction would be and to provide context and explanation in advance.

Quite simple really. Basic soft skills of relationship building. And I failed in that regard, even though I still believe my actions were justified.

At CLAC’s recent National Convention, we heard from Dr. Betty Pries on the importance of maintaining “unconditional positive regard” for those we are working through problems with. Don’t jump to conclusions about the intent behind someone’s actions just because it has a negative impact on you. Hold them (and their intent) with “unconditional positive regard.”

Very good insight from Dr. Pries. But I also discovered a further truth. If you spend a little bit of time considering how your actions could be misinterpreted, and be proactive in that regard, that can also go a long way to make it easier for the other to view you with “unconditional positive regard.”

In my case, a sincere apology on my part and a provision of further context to help explain my actions helped to preserve the relationship. But I did learn a valuable lesson.

That Was a Close One

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