Monday, July 22, 2024

Saying No Is Saying Yes

Do you know how to say yes to the things that will be healthy for you and your workplace?

By Jon Heinen, Representative/Prairies Member Education Coordinator

Recently, I took some time off only to experience significant burnout in the form of fatigue and exhaustion. I was drained, debilitated from social energy, tired all the time, and utterly confused at what was happening.

Then I had a panic attack during a seemingly insignificant conversation with one of my brothers. He said he had experienced something similar many years prior and helped me identify it as burnout and that I needed to take care of myself.

Since then, the topic of taking care of myself has been front of mind. One of the first steps in my journey has been to explore setting boundaries. What does it mean to say no? What does it mean to say yes?

I was with long-time friends at our yearly gathering, and one of my friends asked me, “Are you getting better at saying no?” To which another friend jumped in and said, “No! He hasn’t learned a thing!”

I didn’t take offence, but I’ve been ruminating on that interaction over the past while.

We’ve all heard the saying learn how to say no. Setting boundaries is about saying no. My initial reaction to the interaction with my friends was that it’s ridiculous to think about whether I’m improving on saying no. Every no is simply a yes to something else!

Let’s say I was invited to go out one night with friends. I might say no because I’m tired. But what then? I’m obviously going to say yes to doing something. Maybe I’ll sit at home and watch a movie. Maybe I’ll go to bed early, read a book, or take a bath.

I’m trying to figure out this boundaries thing, and I’m realizing that the important thing is understanding what I need at any given time. That way, I can figure out how to say yes to the things that will keep me healthy.

If I’m tired, I can say yes to staying home and resting. If I’m asked to help a friend with a project, perhaps I can say yes to helping them in a way that works for me.

I think of all the people I know who are overworked, burned out, and pushed to their limits. Do they know how to say yes to the things that are healthy for them, to say yes to taking care of themselves in the midst of all the demands on them?

Certainly, a part of saying yes is saying no, but that’s not at the core of how to heal. It’s about discovering how to say yes to the things that will be healthy for you and your workplace. That might mean saying yes to stepping back. Saying yes to a break. Saying yes to a different way that another person suggested—and may be less work for you.

Burnout is real and it’s insidious. It happens and then you’re in it. Say yes to taking care of yourself before all that you have left is saying no to everything.

Saying No Is Saying Yes

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