On My Phone

My cell phone. It is ever present. Always with me. Filling in the dead spaces of the day. Even now, as I am writing, it sits at my right hand ready to distract me from my own thoughts.

I feel a bit like it is stealing something from me. Almost like a cancer that invades my body and gradually kills the host. It feels like a compulsion that I can’t deny.

But the phone is just a phone. A device. There is nothing good or bad about it.

What causes me unease is what this compulsion says about me. What it says about my values. What it says about the strength of my own thought life. Or whether I need something to supply me with my thoughts.

I worry that I am becoming a bit mindless and scatterbrained. The idea of sitting quietly with my own thoughts becomes a battle to restrain my hand from wandering to the home button on the iPhone.

And I bet that you feel it too.

I have three boys aged nine, seven, and five. The two oldest boys already have this disease. This malady of “the device in my hand.” They are a mirror to me and it is a sobering thing.

My youngest son, Niko, is autistic. And while this presents some difficulties in our lives as a family, there is something so pure about him that I love.

It is not uncommon for Niko to sit on his own for an hour, with no device to distract him. He will often look out the window of his room and chat to himself about the events of the day, or about how he is feeling. Or sometimes he is just quiet.

Perhaps it is a gift to him through his neurology, the fact that he can so easily focus on his own thoughts and not seek out something to distract him, such as a phone.

So here is a challenge. The next time you are having lunch by yourself, resist the urge to bring your phone. Have some thoughts that aren’t being infiltrated by a status update or a news tweet.

The next time you are visiting with friends, leave your phone behind and enjoy their presence without distraction.

The next time you are with co-workers on a break, leave your phone in your pocket. Chat about how your day is going and ask them about theirs.

The next time you are at home with your kids, play with them, talk with them, be with them and, at least for that moment, don’t look at your phone. Who knows, it might even be enjoyable.