Sunday, August 18, 2024

Let’s Talk About It

How can you inspect an issue neutrally so you can move toward resolution?

By Heidi Martens, Representative

One of the most helpful tips about having difficult discussions I’ve heard is this:

Imagine the tough topic as a ball (or other object) that you hold in between you and the opposing party. Hold out the ball (or, the issue) and talk about the ball. Inspect, observe, poke, prod, and question it. For example,

Your paystub is wrong. You’ve been underpaid. Again. And that premium is missing. Again. I knew they were going to screw me over. Again!

Or . . . hold the ball out. How can you inspect the issue neutrally so you can move toward resolution? Perhaps ask your supervisor. Or email payroll with the details of the error, and ask them to look into it.

This approach asks that you separate from some of the personal opinions, history, or ego that may cause you to have an emotional reaction. It also asks that you stay disciplined in discussing the issue at hand and avoiding pulling in historical narratives about the other party.

I know when I’ve used this approach, I feel overall less defensive and more curious. I also find myself more invested in gaining consensus and moving forward as opposed to making a point.

Let’s Talk About It

You might be interested in