Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Let It Rain . . . So It Doesn’t Pour (Part 2 of 3)

Self-compassion depends on honest, direct contact with your own vulnerability. To help you address feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, try the RAIN method of meditation

By Quentin Steen, Representative/BC Member Education Coordinator

Being held hostage by your feelings and behaviours wreak havoc with your mental well-being and those you care about.

Instead of denying your feelings and behaviours, stuffing them, sanitizing them, or editing them, you can allow them. You can acknowledge them. You can name them. You can create a safe space to allow them to express themselves without them taking on a life of their own beyond your control by meeting them with the mindful practice of RAIN.

First coined around 20 years ago by Michele McDonald, RAIN is a form of meditation that consists of four steps—recognition, acceptance, investigation, and nonidentification. Many psychologists have adapted and expanded on RAIN, including Tara Brach, author of Radical Compassion.

Before you dismiss the concept of meditative practice as not your thing, take a moment to read exactly what that entails. After all, what do you have to lose other than the chance to begin living into and out of your authentic self?

The rest of this Mental Health Moment (and next month’s) is designed to introduce you to what the RAIN method of meditation is. I have taken the liberty to use and adapt the work of Tara Brach.

To unfold, self-compassion depends on honest, direct contact with your own vulnerability. This compassion fully blossoms when you actively offer care to yourself. Yet when you’ve gotten stuck in the trance of unworthiness, it often feels impossible to arouse self-compassion.

To help you address feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, I like to share the meditation of the RAIN of self-compassion. The acronym RAIN is an easy-to-remember tool for practicing mindfulness and compassion using the following four steps:

• Recognize what is going on.

• Allow the experience to be there, just as it is.

• Investigate with interest and care.

• Nurture with self-compassion.

You can take your time and explore RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or move through the steps whenever challenging feelings arise.

R – Recognize what’s going on.

Recognizing means consciously acknowledging, in any given moment, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are affecting you. Like awakening from a dream, the first step out of the trance of unworthiness is simply to recognize that you are stuck and subject to painfully constricting beliefs, emotions, and physical sensations.

Common signs of the trance include a critical inner voice, feelings of shame or fear, the squeeze of anxiety, or the weight of depression in the body. Recognizing can be a simple mental whisper, noting what has come up.

A – Allow the experience to be there, just as it is.

Allowing means letting the thoughts, emotions, feelings, or sensations you have recognized simply be there, without trying to fix or avoid anything. When you’re caught in self-judgment, letting it be there doesn’t mean you agree with your conviction that you’re unworthy. Rather, you honestly acknowledge the arising of your judgment, as well as the painful feelings underneath.

Support your resolve to pause and let be by silently offering an encouraging word or phrase to yourself. For instance, you might feel the grip of fear and mentally whisper, yes, or it’s okay, to acknowledge and accept the reality of your experience in this moment.

In next month’s Mental Health Moment, we will explore the I and N of RAIN.

Quentin Steen is a certified mental health first aid instructor for the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

Get your BRAIN right and your MIND will follow!

4 Mental Health Resources to Help You

If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health issue, CLAC has a number of resources and interactive tools available to help you at My Health and Wellness.
Stronger Minds features videos and quick reads from mental health experts, activities to help you gain resilience, and ask-an-expert videos in response to questions.
WellCan offers free well-being resources to help Canadians develop coping strategies and build resilience to help deal with uncertainty, mental health, and substance abuse concerns.
Wellness Together Canada: Mental Health and Substance Use Support provides free online resources, tools, apps, and connections to trained volunteers and qualified mental health professionals.

Let It Rain . . . So It Doesn’t Pour (Part 2 of 3)

4 Mental Health Resources to Help You

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