Friday, November 22, 2019

Happy to Help

By André van Heerden, Communications Director

Think back to a time when someone helped you. Did they do so eagerly or begrudgingly? Did they seem happy to help or annoyed? Which did you appreciate more?

Human nature may tell us that the one who did it reluctantly had to overcome or sacrifice more to help and therefore we should appreciate it more. But if you’re the person who is being helped, it is much nicer to have someone helping who is willing and happy. It is the happy helper who is more appreciated.

In an episode of Seinfeld, George Costanza shared his secret to looking like he’s working hard: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think you’re busy.” But of course, George pretending to look busy and annoyed leads to unforeseen trouble for him and others.

We shouldn’t consider being asked for help as a burden, but as a privilege. Rather than thinking we have to help someone, we should reframe it as we get to help someone.

They wouldn’t be approaching us unless they thought we were capable. If you’re in the service industry, there’s a well-known saying that “if you don’t take care of the customer, someone else will.” Even if you tell someone you’ll help them but you make them feel badly about it, and act annoyed like George, there’s a good chance they may refuse your help or ask someone else for it.

I often tell my children that if they’re going to help someone, do it with a smile and do it well. They’re doing it anyway, so they might as well make the most of it! If you help someone with a frown and make them feel badly about it, you’ll lose a lot of the real appreciation for your efforts.

Maya Angelou, American poet, singer, and civil rights activist noted that “people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” If you make people feel good that you were able to help them, you will feel good about it too.

Happy to Help

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