Don’t Worry About Being Happy

Many of you will recall the ubiquitous song from the 1980s called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin.  (If you are under 30 and have not heard the song, check it out—but be warned, it may become stuck in your head.) The song is about having a positive outlook when things go wrong, but it is also a reflection of our culture’s pursuit of happiness. 

Psychologists have asked questions for years about what it means to be happy and how we become happy. Self-help books promise to get us closer to the goal of personal happiness, but some studies have also asked, “Is the pursuit of happiness making us less happy?” The answer appears to be a tentative yes. 

Have you ever been anticipating an event, expecting it to be a lot of fun, and then experienced disappointment or stress when things didn’t go as planned and the event did not make you happy? Or have you looked at a friend’s social media accounts and been envious that they seem to be happier than you? Perhaps you’re always thinking that another job would satisfy you more. These types of scenarios can lead people to focus on ways to increase their own happiness. 

However, several recent studies suggest that there is a paradoxical effect to consciously trying to increase happiness. The goal can be counterproductive because we are disappointed at our own emotion when reality does not meet expectations. Also, the pursuit of happiness increases our awareness that time is scarce, and we fear falling short of our goals. 

So what should we focus on instead? How about some wisdom from 19^th century British philosopher John Stuart Mill? “Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming at something else, they find happiness by the way.” We at CLAC are big believers in people finding fulfillment in doing a good job and helping those around you.

Also, studies that show practicing gratefulness can increase positive emotions and resiliency when faced with stressful life events. Some ways to focus on gratitude include keeping a journal and writing down a few things you are thankful for each day, savouring positive moments, saying thank you, and seeing all you have as gifts rather than entitlements. 

Finally, if you are struggling with depression, please consider seeking professional help. Your workplace employee and family assistance program is a great place to start.