Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Are You Good at Saying No?

Something that I have come to learn is that the person assuming that I am the only one who can take something on is almost always the same person—me

By Izzy Huygen, Representative

No to Drugs. That’s an easy thing to say—or at least it’s easy to know that is what we are supposed to say.

What about no to a donut? Depending on your situation, that may or may not be a good or bad thing, maybe necessary, or maybe not.

But that’s not really what this is about, is it? No.

If you’re anything like me—and I’m going to speculate that many of you are—prioritization is difficult and a constant challenge. There are many demands for your time and attention, and it seems that each of those demands—or people who are making those demands—consistently assume the same thing: that their thing is the most important and that you are the only person who is capable of fulfilling the task to the fullest.

Family, faith, and friends are the most important things to me, but all of them suffer when I do a poor job of prioritizing tasks and involvements. They are the first areas of life that I take time from when I have not done well with my priorities.

And the other one for me—and for many people—is our own health. How can I take care of my family, faith, and friends—and perform my job to the best of my ability—if I’m not taking care of myself—physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Everything else starts to crumble. I end up failing myself and all of the other things that are most important to me.

Something that I have come to learn is that the person assuming that I am the only one who can take something on is almost always the same person. Me.

I am the one who puts the most pressure on myself to say yes. I am the one who makes myself feel guilty when I see something that needs doing for which I have the capability to do. I wrestle with how I can say no because other things should take priority.

I aim to please others, so this is something that I have to work particularly hard at. One quick Google search and it’s easy to find 100 different lists of how to say no. One in particular that I found helpful is the 10 tips from lifehack.org:

Value your time.
Know your priorities.
Practice before saying no.
Don’t apologize.
Stop being nice.
Learn to say no to your boss.
Pre-empt the requests.
Take time to say no.
Offer an alternative timeframe.
Be sincere about your rejection.

Another point that must be added is don’t say no all of the time. Get involved, work your tail off, and give of yourself.

I said yes to submit this article on time, but I also said yes to my family, because right after I send this in, I am going home for supper. I didn’t say I am good at saying no just yet, but I’m learning.

Are You Good at Saying No?

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