Act like a Leader

It was not a lightbulb moment. In fact, if I had been sipping a drink, I would have choked. What she had just told me was so absurd I laughed at her in denial. I went home that night and told my husband and we had a good laugh.

Over the next months and eventually years, the words she spoke stuck and changed my life. It wasn’t a lightbulb moment, but it was one of the most pivotal moments of my life.

We had moved to rural Ontario to live and work on a poultry farm, and there was a long term care facility within walking distance. I had walked over, with my education in psychology, wondering if there might be work for me. It turns out that long term care has always been desperate for front-line staff, and at the time, you could learn on the job. At the time I had passed probation as a nurse’s aide.

Shortly after starting, the woman whose words would change my life approached me on the afternoon shift and told me in her gravelly smoker’s voice: “you have potential and I’ve decided to make you good at this job.”

I remember being intimidated at her words, yet with her guidance, I had become very good at caring for “my people.” She and I made a great team and I had really grown to admire her as she coached me through my probationary season and into a part-time afternoon line.

We were sitting in the lunchroom. She was a seasoned union steward and had been trying to talk me into becoming a steward myself. I had adamantly refused because I saw what she dealt with on a daily basis and I didn’t want to add that to my life along with being a farmwoman, a mother of a preschooler and a toddler, and everything else.

I had asked her, “Why do you keep pushing me to do this?”

Her reply was what caused me to choke down laughter:

“Because you are a leader.”

There was no way I was a leader! I worked at the bottom of the totem pole. At work, my main responsibility—other than resident-focussed care—was to stock the towel closet and report how many briefs we needed! In fact, I did my best to avoid every additional responsibility because I was busy!

I don’t remember how our conversation ended, but I probably claimed I needed to return to the chorus of call bells and exited the room as quickly as possible.

Yet those words echoed in my ears.

A few months later, someone asked me to take on a responsibility where I volunteered. Was this because they saw me as a leader?

I heard a talk on the radio where they discussed the changing understanding of leadership. Leadership wasn’t about your position or how many reports you had—it was about how you saw yourself and approached your life, and how you dealt with the opportunities that were presented to you.

I was also handed a book that challenged my understanding and asked the question: “If others see you as a leader and you don’t, what is the potential they see and what can you do to develop it?”

Slowly, I started to accept the words she spoke to me. Slowly, I started to work on what I perceived to be my shortfalls as a leader. Over the years, I’ve come to embrace that leadership is about an attitude and not a title.

It’s been nearly two decades since I choked back the laughter, and I have the greatest admiration and appreciation for this woman Nancy for speaking out so boldly what she saw and challenged me to develop. She knew that being a leader has nothing to do with where you are, but everything to do with who you are!

Has someone close to you called you a leader? Were you a skeptic like me? What would happen if you tried on their observation and acted like a leader?