Thursday, October 10, 2024

Mistakes, Responsibility, and Trust

“Trust is like the air we breathe—when it’s present, nobody really notices; when it’s absent, everybody notices.” —Warren Buffet, business and investment guru

By André van Heerden, Communications Director

The other day I was talking on the phone with my brother while driving (don’t worry, hands free), and the connection kept dropping and then coming back. First, I had to repeat much of what I said, and then my brother had to do the same.

While we continued to talk, I found that I was so focused on whether we were connected or not, I couldn’t enjoy the conversation.

It reminded me of trying to watch a DVD that has a scratch on it. The picture and sound suddenly stop and maybe begins again, but the flow of the movie has been ruined.

And even if you can get back into the story, part of you is still worried: is it going to happen again? Even if you’re able to complete the whole movie, the viewing experience has been damaged.

Much the same thing happens with us and relationships when trust is broken. Something that you counted on has been shown to be flawed, and now you’re no longer confident in it.

At work, we might experience the same thing if someone misses a deadline, spreads false information, or makes a big mistake. It can be devastating and have far-reaching impact.

Making a mistake and losing trust can be two different things. People are human and are bound to make mistakes.

So why is it that sometimes trust and confidence remain while in other cases they don’t?

As with many interrelational problems in life, it comes down to honesty and effective communication.

I remember at the reception of my wedding, an older man—who had been happily married for many years—gave me this piece of advice: “The secret to a happy marriage is that when you’re wrong, say you’re sorry as soon as you can and mean it.”

It was great advice. I have found out firsthand—both positively and negatively—how sound it is.

I recently listened to a talk given by media commentator and journalist Matt Gurney from The Line. He admitted that he’s bound to be wrong about five percent of the time.

Given how much he writes, that means every five or six weeks he’s reporting something incorrectly. However, when he’s wrong, he makes sure he immediately admits it, publicly flogs himself over it, and tries to figure out how to avoid that mistake in the future.

Gurney went on to say that after such a public blunder, his number of subscribers doesn’t decrease. It actually increases because of his accepted responsibility and apology.

Author and businessman Bill George said, “Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability. Be transparent with your team, even when the truth may be unpopular or inconvenient.”

Two institutions that people should be able to trust are the government and media. Both can’t serve the public without it.

Unfortunately, in a 2023 poll, only 28 percent of Canadians trusted their federal government and only 37 percent trusted the media. I’d bet that those numbers have dropped since then.

Tellingly, both institutions are terrible at admitting mistakes, or admitting bias, or learning from past mistakes. Every time that I listen to anything from either of those institutions, I’m unfortunately very skeptical.

People will forgive mistakes; they won’t forgive deception or failure to take responsibility.

Author, businessman, and speaker Stephn R. Covey wrote, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

And management and leadership consultant Richard Fagerlin noted that “trust isn’t what we do; it is what results from what we do.”

Now if only my scratched DVDs could apologize and promise to do better.

Mistakes, Responsibility, and Trust

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