Thursday, February 12, 2026

Have I Made Myself Clear?

Clarity and honesty are key to connecting with others, especially when the conversation is difficult

By André van Heerden, Communications Director

I am the discipline chair for my local soccer club. This means that when one of our coaches, players, or teams is involved in an incident that may require discipline, I represent them and the club at the hearing.

I begin the process of preparing for the hearing by getting as many witness statements as I can. Something that I have found interesting is that the clearer the witness and defendant statements are—regardless of guilt or innocence—the more favourable the result.

Even if a player acted in a way that warrants a suspension, if they state what they did in a direct and open way, the hearing goes better. If their statement isn’t clear, even if their actions may not necessitate discipline, the hearing tends to feel more accusatory and less promising toward them.

Singer and songwriter Johnny Cash advised, “The best way to say anything is just to say it.”

Clear, precise statements have a way of negating suspicion. Even if the statements may not be popular, if they are clear and direct, they are trusted and understood and that goes a long way in connecting with others.

In workplaces difficult conversations often need to happen. A worker may have made a mistake and doesn’t want to admit it. A foreperson may need to talk to someone about their poor performance. An employer may have acted unfairly or contrary to a collective agreement. In all these instances, clarity and honesty help.

One of the most beloved characters on the sitcom Parks and Recreation is the parks director Ron Swanson. He often disagrees with everyone and isn’t nice in how he expresses that. However, everyone knows precisely where they stand with him and admires his forthrightness. Just two examples of how he communicates tell a lot about his character and views:

“I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying—skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.”

Ron isn’t loved because of his strong opinions; he’s loved because he’s brutally honest and direct.

Sometimes we struggle with knowing what to say. We don’t want to offend, or get into trouble, or cause issues for someone, and so we muddy our language and meaning to soften the message. That often causes confusion and leads to more questions. People are naturally hungry for the truth, and they can sense when it’s being withheld.

George Shultz, former US Secretary of State, observed, “He who walks in the middle of the road gets hit from both sides.” And philosopher and statesman, Thomas Paine wrote, “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.”

We all want to be kind and seen in a good light. It’s important to know that, while we don’t need to channel the abrasiveness of Ron Swanson, we also shouldn’t sacrifice being clear or honest. In the end, hiding the point behind flowery bafflegab isn’t beneficial to anyone.

Have I Made Myself Clear?

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