Can We Talk?

Conflict. It’s unavoidable, and it’s going to crop up in your relationships with co-workers, friends, and family members

From small skirmishes to complex clashes, sooner or later, you’re going to have to address it and have “the talk.” If the thought of confrontation makes you want to run for the hills, take a deep breath and remember that if you don’t have this difficult conversation now, things are only going to get worse. So unless you want the same issues occurring over and over again, embrace the awkward and keep the following in mind when you’re having “the talk.”

7 Dos and Don’ts of Conflict

1. DO be respectful and keep an open mind. Respect the other person’s point of view. Try to see things from their angle—no matter how difficult the disagreement.

2. DON’T worry about being liked. Everyone just wants to be liked, but it’s not always the most important thing. Conflicts are about coming to a mutual resolution, not scoring popularity points.

3. DO listen more than you speak. Voice your opinion in a respectful manner. Listen, reflect, and observe the other person.

4. DON’T rehearse. Don’t waste time mentally rehearsing your argument the night before. Tough conversations rarely go as planned, so don’t worry about it and get some sleep.

5. DO get to the point. Don’t beat around the bush—be as honest as possible and stick to the matter at hand. Now is not the time to air old grievances.

6. DON’T procrastinate. Putting off the talk may only make things worse. Deal with it as soon as possible so you can all move on.

7. DO stay positive. If you expect the worst outcome, chances are that’s what you’ll have. Tell yourself that having this conversation will result in an improved relationship or workplace atmosphere.

Source: Harvard Business Review